RINGS 12/22/00: WORLD MEGA-BATTLE OPEN TOURNAMENT KING OF KINGS 2000 BLOCK B

World Mega-Battle Open Tournament King of Kings 2000 Block B
December 22, 2000 in Osaka, Japan
Furitsu Gym drawing 3,000

LET ANY WHO WOULD DOUBT FOR EVEN THE FLEETINGMOST INSTANT THE UNMATCHED TASTE-LEVEL OF WOWOW'S FIGHTING NETWORK RINGS PRESENTATION CONTEND WITH THE IMAGES ABOVE AND EMERGE ANYTHING BUT A RISIBLE FOOL BEFORE ALL WHO BEHOLD HIM OR HER but of course none could, even if they so dared in their folly and their arrogance and I am coming on too strong, forgive me, but I am in very high spirits following the finest true kakutogi-era, shoot-styleless RINGS show that has yet been visited upon us (when last we spoke; remember how good it was?) and also I am awed by the serene beauty of the images that made tape in the opening twenty-five seconds of this the 119th gift to spring forth from the RINGSbox that has been mine for so long now and for which I must again thank my friend Jonathan, who coordinated this great undertaking, and pre-eminent tape-tradist of yore Jeff Lynch, who supplied all materials to him, and also we must consider the unnamed WOWOW premium television subscriber(s) who recorded nearly twelve years of RINGS, never breaking faith, but breaking (one assumes) many tabs off of VHS tapes recorded not in SP, which might not quite get everything, nor in EP/SLP, which would lessen quality unnecessarily, but in LP. Each of these vital figures is  in my thoughts as we ready ourselves for BLOCK B to be contested three days before Christmas in the year of our lord 2000 for the joy of Osakans assembled at 大阪府立体育会館 Ōsaka Furitsu Taiikukaikan.

We open with the dark reminder that Kiyoshi Tamura has been eliminated already from this year's WORLD MEGA-BATTLE OPEN TOURNAMENT KING OF KINGS following a submission loss to Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira, who ranks, as well you know, high amongst the greatest heavyweight mixed-fighters of all, and so it is totally okay that the comparatively-little Kiyoshi Tamura lost an exquisite bout to him. And yet this fact is introduced solemnly. What hope remains for a Japanese champion, this video package seems to ask us? The affable and indeed jolly Hiromitsu Kanehara? Tsuyoshi Kohsaka, his seriousness bordering forever on solemnity? Yoshihisa Yamamoto, baffling in his refusal of the greatness Akira Maeda craves for and of him? All remain. There are also some other guys like Volk Han and Fedor Emelianenko and Ricardo Arona. Some pretty good guys. Also these graphics continue to be so high-level:

Joop Kasteel's presence in this opening bout reminds us that there have been no RINGS Official Rankings for some time now, and that's probably for the best, because they no longer offered much; they just stopped making sense (æsthetically). Kasteel always fared well in them. He is punched very hard several times in forty-three seconds by Bobby Hoffman, not yet imprisoned for the heinous crimes he would in time commit. 

Who but Магомедха́н Аманула́евич Гамзатха́нов/Magomedkhan Amanulayevich Gamzatkhanov/Волк-хан/VOLK HAN could be entering 大阪府立体育会館 Ōsaka Furitsu Taiikukaikan to Jean-Michel Jarre's "Second Rendez-Vous" (Remastered)"; who? None would dare. You will perhaps recall that Volk Han's "shoot" début (non-sambo shoot début, we should specify, as most sambo matches are straight shoots) against Brandon Lee Hinkle at June's MILLENIUM COMBINE went very well! He won it by 腕挫三角固 ude-hishigi-sangaku-gatame, the triangle arm bar! In this bout, he nearly finishes Lee Hasdell with juji-gatame in the first round before stopping him with punching (I know, I couldn't believe it either) in the second. It really is worth reminding ourselves that Volk Han is thirty-nine years old doing these things.

Last year's KING OF KINGS was many things, but one of my favourite things that it was was an encomium in praise of Andrei Kopilov. It will not be that this year, as he has been knocked out in ten seconds by Tom Sauer. It seemed as though the referee in whose care this match found itself was not sure whether he should wave the bout off or begin to count, but both Ryogaku Wada and Akira Maeda (in his red jacket) were very clear on this point (it is for the best).

HIROMITSU KANEHARA has a tough draw in "Alexander Cacareco" which is how they are billing Alexandre Ferreira, a really very good light-heavyweight luta livre fighter and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu black belt who, in addition to his mixed-fight success, took bronze at ADCC 2001 (-99kg [Arona won the division]), two silvers at ADCC 2001 (in the -99kg and the absolute [losing to Einemo and Lister]), and another silver at ADCC 2005, where he lost to Roger Gracie in the -99kg final. He's really good! But Kanehara, who should be way out of his league, is doing great. What a strange guy! I would like to know what his entrance music is because it is at once chill and thrilling. When Ferreira has his back, Kanehara stays super calm about it and just grabs the odd gyaku-ude-garami grip on an arm or reaches down to at least put the thought of a hiza-juji knee-bar in mind and just casually slips to the top when he is able. He almost hits  juji-gatame! So far, this is maybe Kanehara's most impressive performance, and as the attentive reader will know already, I am consistently delighted by Hiromitsu Kanehara performances. OH MY GOODNESS HIROMITSU KANEHARA HAS SWEPT AND FINISHED WITH GYAKU-UDE-GARAMI ALMOST EXACTLY IF HE WERE MASAHIKO KIMURA IN THIS ANIMATED GIF I HAVE SHOWN YOU LIKE A DOZEN TIMES BUT WILL NEVER RELENT IN SO DOING FOR IT IS MEET AND RIGHT:

Ricardo Arona looks like *looks like* he has taken most of the steroids available in Brazil whereas Fedor Emelianenko is characteristically squishy (I speak only of appearances, and cannot presume to know any man's regimen); also he has a very nice Adidas track jacket:

   
Fedor also has a fairly tight mae-hadaka-jime on Arona as they hit the ground but Arona pops out and, in time, takes the back and does not actually come that close to finishing the naked strangle of hadaka-jime so much as he demonstrates his willingness to choke completely through the face (it's awful), and this causes Fedor visible distress until he is able to turn in. But Arona, an excellent positional græppler who is on a lot of steroids possibly, ends up on top in a mighty tate-shiho-gatame. I do not take his ude-garami arm-entanglement attacks from here seriously, and in fact I think he is really asking to be swept UPDATE: RICARDO ARONA HAS BEEN SWEPT JUST AS I SUGGESTED MIGHT COME TO PASS. Back on their feet, Fedor cracks him pretty solidly; good on Arona's head for not exploding from that. Fedor grabs another reasonably tight mae-hadaka-jime front choke but again Arona is unfazed. Good first round! As the second round opens, Arona looks very strange as he dances away (without art) from Fedor's punches, which rightly terrify. Fedor shrugs off Arona's tackling morote-gari attempt as Kenichi Takayanagi and Hideyuki Kumakubo say judo and sambo yet again. Arona does get him down in time, though, only to be swept, but he maintains admirable calm as Fedor cranks on a kata-ashi-hishigi in a way that worries me so it should probably worry Ricardo Arona whose leg it is being græppled on but no, he is calm. Stop me if I mentioned this earlier, but like a week or so ago a student of mine who is a fine jiujiteiro was telling me that there is drug testing in BJJ now, and though he is certainly trustworthy I was skeptical, and so I looked into it, and it's that they have started to test people at the World Championships--like literally at them, and that's it! That's the only one! And a guy failed! Like a high-profile guy! What a sporting scene, man. Best of luck, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. "Every sport has to dream to one day become an Olympic sport & for that they have to work a lot. I wish Jiu Jitsu all the best on that front," IJF President Marius Vizer said recently in response to a question on twitter about jiu jitsu, and the Olympics, and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu being in them one day (likely never). I join him in wishing jiu jitsu all the best because we are all just people trying to be happy. As I get into all this I feel for sure now that I have totally told you this before; forgive me. At least the Marius Vizer part has to be new. It is top of mind though, this matter of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and the rampant unchecked performance enhancing drug use at its highest levels, whilst watching Ricardo Arona compete, for some reason, isn't that weird. Fedor hits Arona pretty hard in the head again. Here's another mae-hadaka-jime front choke attempt but it does not seem too serious. At the end of two rounds Arona raises his hands like a champion but a moment later he slumps his shoulders mopingly when he finds out only one judge thinks he has won and he is asked to fight another round. In that third round, Arona's big dumb muscles don't do a whole lot for him but again he raises his hands in triumph as it ends. All three judges, though, including the one who had it for Arona after two, now have it for Fedor. It was a very close fight for sure though!

Tsuyoshi Kohsaka and Mikhail Ilioukhine have faced each other before, but under the shoot-style strictures of BATTLE DIMENSION rather than the pure kakutogi of KING OF KINGS and so this will be something new! Ilioukhine acquitted himself well in last year's tournament, ultimately losing to Babalu by third-round juji-gatame in the quarter-finals. Our slightly clipped introductions offer us a glimpse of Kohsaka's nice "TK" hoodie but refuse his moment of prayer before entering the ring. Lest we think this trivial, let us consider briefly the possibilities of waza as liturgical act as we consult our 1955 editions of Illustrated Kodokan Judo, its authorship credited to the Kodokan Editorial Board:

"Our Master Kano divides the objective of Judo into two phases: self-perfection and contribution to human welfare and benefit. He does so as a matter of convenience, but these two are the different aspects of the ultimate ideal, namely, mutual welfare and benefit. So, to attain such an ideal is the ultimate end of studying and training in Judo. Our Master, however, explained such a spirit from a point of practical morality. For example, he enjoins his pupils not to use, in the exercise hall, any method that may injure the opponent because such violence to a person goes against the spirit of mutual welfare and benefit. Again he teaches that they should observe in their social life the principle of mutual aid and concession as well as the spirit of mutual welfare and benefit so as to regulate the relation of oneself with others. That is because he avoided, from his educator's standpoint, the discourse on the profound philosophical-principle of Judo, but instructed his pupils in terms of daily conduct, looking to their advancement, step by step, toward the higher level of the spirit. Nevertheless, the ultimate phase is that which points out the ideal state to be marked by the Judo-ka. It is a world of harmony, a world of peace, and a world of love, or, an absolute state of existence, in which, as Buddhism teaches, 'self and the universe are in a body' and where self and others fuse into one. It represents a pinnacle of Oriental philosophy, it embodies the lofty ideals of Christianity, and it is the supreme principle of mankind."

So there's that!

TK SCISSORS YESSSSSS they are as a song in my heart as Kohsaka escapes Ilioukhine's tate-shiho-gatame with that waza we best-love. From there they are up, they are down, and TK hits the scissors that bear his name again. As the first round draws to a close I say with some confidence that Kohsaka got the best of it but I have been perfectly wrong about a lot of things and this could simply be another instance of that. We will never know, though, as TK knocks Ilioukhine out at 2:53 of the second.

Christopher Haseman and his improving skin condition do very well not to be murdered by Carlos Barreto, to whom he gives up probably thirty pounds and definitely a few inches in height and reach. Barreto is a guy I remember, but looking back over his record now, it's strange that he didn't go farther than he did, I don't know (not that anyone should go anywhere, all of this is fundamentally hideous). When Igor Vovchanchyn was on that thirty-plus win-streak, Barreto came as close to beating him as anybody else, but what was Barreto's actual best win, Big Ben Rothwell? (Who was/is very good, do not mistake me, but I think he's maybe finished now with a doping violation, I'm not sure how that all played out in the end.) Haseman wins the decision here in just two rounds, no need for a third, as we puzzle over the enigma that is Barreto. 

Only one match to go in this first round of Block B and it is Yoshihisa Yamamoto against Bitsadze Ameran, whom you may recall as The Other Bitsadze, a less compelling (although, in fariness, no less Kyokushin) non-Tariel Bitsadze who never really connected with people (me). This is I think the only instance of slightly slanted booking on this card, as everyone else RINGS would seemingly prefer win all had tough matches. This shouldn't be one, but it would be wrong to put it past Yamamoto to make a hash of this, or indeed of anything (I say this with love and sympathy in my heart for him, for us all). And actually this isn't going very well for him! Ameran is big, and Yamamoto is not having much luck taking him down, and now Yamamoto has a pretty big cut on his forehead. Ameran takes a yellow card for rolling out under the bottom rope to try to escape a kata-ashi-hishigi leg-lock, which is good; that was undignified of him. Ah, okay, Yamamoto has won with juji-gatame and looks so happy: 

TO THE SECOND ROUND OF THIS WORLD-MEGA BATTLE OPEN TOURNAMENT KING OF KINGS BLOCK B THEN as Volk Han bests Bobby Hoffman, who would later beat a defenseless person terribly and be imprisoned for it, in a three-round decision that we will not dwell on other than to note Han's rapturous joy at its end. And then Hiromitsu Kanehara knocks Tom Sauer out in the first round to such an extent that he's draped all over the bottom rope? What? Obviously no one should be hitting and I condemn it. Tom Sauer's corner says dumb stuff throughout the match like "punish him" and "show him some leather" so I'm glad he has lost but mostly I am glad Hiromitsu Kanehara has won! He's so impish and odd!

These second-round matches are really flying by and that is not going to change as Tsuyoshi Kohsaka and Fedor Emelianenko set to, because this is of course the famous match in which they each throw their first punch in the same instant, TK's elbow cuts the easily-cut Fedor (TK, too, is oft cut, isn't he), and as soon as Ryogaku Wada espies the running blood whilst the græpplers clinch, he separates these two men of judo and that's it, a mere thirteen seconds and the match is over. It really is quite a cut, there was nothing else to be done. His nose is bleeding pretty well, too. A rough night for Fedor! The Arona match was about as tough a time as he would have for years, and then the instantaneous TK-cut (as though cut by . . . TK Scissors?) ends his quest for KING OF KINGS kingship. As we all know there are those who maintain this bout should have been ruled no contest rather than a TKO win for Kohsaka, as the elbow that cut Fedor was not a legal waza, and I am sure that is a reasonable position but at the same time it is hard to care too much about that, I think. Also, were it not for Kohsaka's win here--that no one ever took particularly seriously, it was never like that--we probably would have never had Fedor/TK II (or "2nd") at Pride Bushido 6 in 2005, which I expect we will probably examine in detail at some time here in the hopefully-long (should we be spared) post-RINGSbox era. Their second fight was kind of horrific because of Kohsaka's courage!

YOSHIHISA YAMAMOTO HAS PUT CHRISTOPHER HASEMAN DOWN AND OUT WITH A LEG-KICK WHAT ON EARTH IS HAPPENING and for one fleeting instant Akira Maeda is not ashamed:

AND SO the four fighters advancing from Block B--Yoshihisa Yamamoto, Tsuyoshi Kohsaka, Hiromitsu Kanehara, and Volk Han--are true, stout RINGSmen to the last, and all is in tuneful accord! Let us with all haste hasten to the GRAND FINAL of this WORLD MEGA-BATTLE OPEN TOURNAMENT KING OF KINGS 2000 when next we meet, which I think should maybe even be tomorrow! Thank you again for your attention and your time.

THE ARCHIVED WORDS OF MELTZER WILL ONE DAY FIND THEIR HOME HERE BUT AS YET THEY ARE NOT KNOWN TO US; PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE THOUGH PROBABLY.